an exaggeratedly exalted reputation

I am very concerned about the exaggeratedly exalted reputation that has developed about me as a mighty prayer warrior and of someone who knows the Word of God very very well.

I do NOT consider myself to be worthy of such high esteem.
I also would guess that those who live and work with me on a daily/weekly basis might also question this reputation.
While it may be true that this is the sincere desire of my heart, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it yet.

My concerns are this:
- if/when I fail and fall short of the expectations, will it cause others to stumble
- does the hypocrisy of who I am in the intimate less redeemed moments that my family and work mates see, push people AWAY from God rather than toward Him.
- have I created this false perception by TALKING about my passions (desires) more than I have lived them out; have I created this hypocrisy of exalted words with few dedicated actions behind them


MY PRAYER:

Search Me and Know Me God
Try Me
Correct Me
Redeem Me

Transform Me To Be HUMBLY AND DILIGENT to your Word and in Prayer
May YOUR fruit be produced in my life
I desire that I would simply be a FRUIT LADED branch in your Kingdom, so that when people look at my life they see the FRUIT of Love and Righteousness, first and foremost ... that they celebrate YOU, and have to look hard through YOUR PRESENCE made manifest by the FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT to see me the branch.

I confess that this is NOT true yet.  Oh Great I AM.
Take my desires and make them deep and real to seek YOU and Your Righteousness and Kingdom FIRST, first in my day, first in each of my hours, first in each of my priorities,

PURGE out of me, the vanity of time with you as an avoidance of responsibilities ... this is perpetuating falseness in me.  PURIFY me that I would honor you in the keeping of my responsibilities.  You are my FIRST AND LAST.  In You is my beginning and You are my finisher.

Finish me LORD ... even now ... even today ...
You are able... and once again I confess with these typed and spoken word, I am Yours.

In the NAME Above all names, Jesus Christ my Sovereign All Powerful Lord and Savior,
I ask, and place my trust
amen